Resentments

The wierdest thing has been happening with me lately...I have become very resentful of my brother-in-law (BIL), and I am not sure exactly why it is happening. Not that I don't have good reason for being resentful of him, just that this is not normally my way of being...

Just a little background: He is as old as I am, has truly earned maybe $100 in his whole life, has no desire or drive to go to school or get anywhere in life. He truly acts as if he thinks that someone is going to support him his entire life. He knows how to push FIL's buttons so that there is no resistance there, he has tried to push mine so that I give in and start doing the work for him or whatever. Most of the people in his family make excuses for why he does the things he does...bad childhood, etc. He has been very helpful however with watching the kids for us, if he has money and we are short he will give that to us (no strings attached), he is nice and kinda fun to be around.

My problem comes from the fact he eats like a pig!! lol, I know it is silly and petty, but for instance right now he is at his Mother's, and we are a little tight on food and money...I keep thinking to myself "Thank god BIL is not here or else we would be out of food" Now truly, we have enough to go around but if BIL was here we would not...not remotely have enough. For instance I make this really fantastic meatloaf (pat, pat, pat) and he loves it, unfortunately when he is here I have to make TWO and there are no leftovers for meatloaf sandwhiches the next day!! This is a meal that is intended to take us two days atleast...I can't even make it last one meal when he is here even if I make a double batch. I know, lol, now having typed this, it seems silly. And I truly do like him, even with the other things he does, he is a pretty good guy. But every time food comes up this last two weeks or so, it flashes in my head..."Thank god BIL is not here" or "If BIL was here that would not last very long" or "Hey look, the diet coke lasts longer when BIL is not here" I feel pretty terrible about thinking these things...and I am hoping by blogging about it, I will not be so resentful about it...

Anyway...boys go to school tomorrow...yay...they are understandably both excited and unhappy about going back. Me, lol, I am thrilled...I will have two weeks to just vegitate...although I am already a little bored...probably will see more posting than usual.

Going to go...have a Yu-Gi-Oh date with S.

C