Rants

I decided to take the plunge and write my mom an email just letting her know what is going on in my life. I know, I know, just setting myself up for the same old drama...well the "good" news is that she changed her email, so now I do not have to worry about contacting her or trying to make things right or anything of the sort. I have been cut off. Sure I could write her, I could call, but at this point, do I really want to? Shouldn't the lack of "Happy Birthday from your mother" and the cutting off of the common way we communicate (albeit badly) be enough to dissuade me from attempting contact with someone who apparently no longer wants to be contacted. Am I reading too much into this? Perhaps she had to change her internet provider for some reason making her have to change her email, her computer crashed causing her to lose my email address so she couldn't let me know her new email, her address book was burned in a fire so she couldn't write, her date book had acetone spilled on it blurring the words so she couldn't tell it was her daughters birthday and her only mutual contact with me (my brother) has fallen into a coma along with the rest of his family from a severe attack of Asian rheumatic fever. Perhaps...but somehow I think my initial instinct may have been a little closer to the truth, no matter that she has no solid reason for cutting off communication with me...that is of little consequence to someone who is insane.

Anyway, on a lighter note, today is payday...and all the money is spent...suck!! It is spent on good things though, like a pumpkin patch visit with the boys, costumes and general halloween fun. Oh, and food and rent and the like...lol. I am happy that we are able to take them to the pumpkin patch, it has been such a huge part of my childhood, one of the happy times and I really want to share that with them, plus I really love hay rides. I have pictures of me at R's age or younger sitting on top of a pumpkin that I could have literally crawled inside of. My dad brought it home and left it in the garage, come summer he finally decided to move it and it melted into a large stream running down the driveway and into the street...lol. My mom was pissed but God it was funny! We will be going to the same pumpkin patch I grew up going to, Bishop's. It has gotten huge (and a little expensive) since I was a kid, but some of the same stuff is still there and it is lots of fun.

Work is work, been on the evening shift the last two weeks so I haven't had much interaction with the boys because they are on the way to bed when I get home...that's no fun. Plus, last weekend was rather busy and I worked so even less of the interaction. But this weekend with the afore mentioned pumpkin patch I also plan to take Sunday and just hang with them, maybe go to the park or something fun and cheap. Next week I go back to the 5am shift, the one that I have become a veritable expert on because I worked it for 6 weeks straight. But it is okay, we finally have two good people taking the positions and that means less stress and less overtime correcting other's mistakes. Good fun stuff.

Hubby is good, I had an appointment Monday to get my feet checked out in Sacramento and he came along, it was really nice to be able to spend the day with him, no kids, no other responsibilities...just him and me...nice.

My feet...ugh...doc says I have a degenerative disorder that should take a very long time to get worse and so there is nothing he is going to do for me unless they start getting worse...idiot, I wouldn't have come in to a podiatry appointment in Sacramento and had to take the day off from work and freaking told him they were getting worse if they WEREN'T GETTING WORSE!!! So I have checked with my current medical insurance about getting a 2nd opinion through them so I can show it to the VA and then boot them all in the butt...they approved the 2nd opinion so yay...I just want someone not connected to the VA or the Army to take a look, if they say the same thing then fine I will sit with it, if they say different I will be all over the VA like white on rice...lol, I have always wanted to say that!

Okay, what was going to be a short rant about my mother turned into a very long rant about everything good and bad...sorry, hope you made it to the end, if not I understand that too...rants can be rather boring!

okay, gotta go pick up that paycheck!

C